House Hunters: NEPA

Completely unwanted and definitely unprepared for, I found myself searching for a new house.   Neither my wife nor I could afford to stay in our existing house so we had to sell it and get new places for ourselves.  Truth is, even if I could have afforded to stay in our house, I would not have.  Walking through the hallways that was once filled with love, now brimming with the stark coldness of a failed marriage would be pretty depressing.  Just writing that sentence was pretty depressing.

In my quest for new living arrangements, I immediately discounted the notion of moving into an apartment.  When we moved into the Northeast Pennsylvania area (NEPA), we lived in an apartment for about a year while our house was being built.  I told myself that was the last time I would do that and even thrust into a situation I never expected to be in; I intended to remain true to that vow.

So, the search for my own house began.  I’ll explore the “Two of Me” that came out during the divorce in a later blog, but part of the “First Me” wanted to move back to Texas where we lived before moving to NEPA.  I figured getting a house there would be easy, I knew the area well, and I had friends and family there.  It was a natural fit.  It was also the stupidest idea I ever pondered.  I would have missed my daughters within ten minutes of setting foot on Texas soil.

And seriously, did I really want to experience 40+ days of 100+ degrees in the summer again?  No offense to my Texas brethren, but no thank you. In NEPA, a heat wave is two days in a row over 90 degrees.  The area experienced a definitive change in the seasons and I actually enjoyed snow, so why would I want to move away?  Just so I wouldn’t have the rare chance encounter with my ex-wife in a grocery store?  Ridiculous.  I loved the area and it was my new home.  Plus, my kids were here.  Did I really need any other reasons?  I think not.

So, the search for my own house began…wait…did I already say that?  I think I did but this time I mean it.  I knew I wanted to get something with woods around it.  I wanted to be closer to nature so I looked into houses in the more mountainous areas of NEPA, specifically the Poconos.  Unfortunately, that area was about an hour away from where my daughters would be living.  I didn’t want to be on top of them but I didn’t want to be too far either. 

Funny how I even considered moving to Texas, a 3 hour plane ride away, and here I was being bothered by an hour drive away.  I am an enigma wrapped in a mystery and deep fried in season 3 of Murder, She Wrote. 

Luckily, I discovered an area about 20 minutes away from my girls and was in a lake community.  This meant activities to help me get my new life started on the right foot.  There was hiking, an indoor pool, a beach by the lake, kayaking, racquetball (yes, racquetball…hey, the 1980’s called.  They want their sport back), and other things to keep me and my girls (when they were with me) occupied. 

I had found the perfect location as far as scenery and recreation but what about the homes?  Since it had been a while since I looked for a house, I forgot what a hassle it can be.  With listings online, you’d think it would be easier, but I don’t know how many houses I browsed that had very few pictures posted with the listing or had none at all.  Why would you even bother putting it on line if you are not going to add pictures?  I don’t believe it costs any extra. On the other hand, you can’t judge it solely on the pictures because a lot of times the room looks huge in the picture but when you go see it “live” you discover you almost thought about buying a house with a living room the size of Mr. Rogers' sweater closet.

Speaking of pictures, one thing that bothered me while looking through what felt like hundreds of houses on line: why, when taking pictures of the bedroom, is the camera mainly focused on the bed?  I’m not buying the bed, I’m buying the room it’s in.  I know it can be hard to get the whole room in a single shot but most of these shots had the bed centered in the photograph. Is the thought, “Look, we got a bed in here. What more do you want to know about the room?”

The other problem was that I had no idea what type of house I wanted.  Obviously not too big but not too small either.  Even though the wife will have primary custody of the girls, they were still going to come over and I wanted to have room for them to grow. I liked the looks of the chalet style house (think ski lodge) and there were plenty to choose from in the area I was looking in.  Unfortunately, they were either too old, too dirty, too hot (no A/C...we don't have days on days of extreme heat but we still need that conditioned air in mid-summer) or too boastful (one said it was a three bedroom but the third bedroom was a loft with a closet no wider than a hallway).  I was also very keen on the resale value.  I didn’t know what the future held (and history was telling me I never would) so I didn’t want to settle on something that would be hard to sell later. 

I finally found what I think is just about the perfect house.  It came with an empty lot next to it and nothing is behind me except for a slowly escalating slope with hiking trails.  There is plenty of room for me and the girls, the resale potential is great and … well, to be honest, I can’t wait to move in.  I believe this to be the greatest feature of this house:  the ability to see that there is still a life to be lived after divorce.  It’s not like I didn’t know that but it’s hard to get excited about something when you haven’t felt even remotely happy for the past few months.  Then something like this comes along and restores a little faith.

Maybe this should be part of the selling description:  "3 bedroom, two story house with office and hopes for a better tomorrow."  Then show a picture of the master bedroom but only show the bed.  That seems to be important as well.

Next time: The business of parenting