Showing posts with label education. Show all posts
Showing posts with label education. Show all posts

Friday, October 5, 2012

Single White Male: Part 2


It’s all about options, buddy. 

Wise words spoken on a radio station I used to listen to almost exclusively.  I know some readers will know which one I’m talking about but that is not the topic of today’s installment of “Listen to Kevin Whine About His Life.”  No, we have other things to ponder.  Namely: what can I do to help fill the space inside me that used to be occupied with my marriage and family (not to say my family still isn’t there, just that marriage part is gone).

As I said last time, I need to get involved with some activity that will get me around other people and be fulfilling to me as a person.  But where does a 47 year old man find such a thing?  We actually have a couple of options.  Let’s explore each one:

·        Church – Nothing like starting off the list with a potentially high voltage one, is there?  Okay, so full disclosure here: I’m not an overly religious man.  I would put me in the “Spiritual” category in that I believe in a higher power; I’m just not sure what I believe in fits into a specific box like you find in most organized religions.  I’m also one who feels religion is more of a personal thing and not one that you need to share with everyone and certainly not something you should push on other people.  I think from that standpoint, getting involved in church groups or activities may not be the best fit for me.  I’m not totally discounting it and I will start off by finding a church nearby.  I have a good friend who has recommended a few so I will try them out to see where that takes me. 

I should point out that I was raised Catholic so any church service that doesn’t involve a bunch of standing and kneeling, some Latin, and a lot of speaking words in unison with a large group of people is going to be alien to me.  :)


·        Higher Education – Ah, yes, returning to school.  Maybe I can go grab that degree in Enigmatology and be one of maybe a handful of people who have that degree..actually maybe only the second which would be great because Will Shortz is stealing all the limelight in this industry (enigmatology…it’s the study of puzzles…Google it.  Here, I did it for you:  Enigmatology)


Anyway, impossible degrees aside, going back to school is always an option regardless of your age.  My problem is mainly around two factors:  money and my job.  College degrees are expensive and with two house payments and child support, I just don’t have that kind of disposable income right now (although I don’t know using the term "disposable" on money put toward a degree is right).  My job poses a problem because I don’t know when or how often I would be traveling.  If I’m going to put down cash to get this degree, I want to be here for all of the classes and not fall behind because all of sudden I have three weeks of travel in a row. 

No, unless it’s an online course, which defeats the purpose of being around other people, getting the degree is out.  Education, however, is not…


·        Adult Education – I really hate this term because it sounds a bit more risqué than it really is…or at least in what I’m talking about.  Adult education courses are the more fun ones like guitar lessons, photography or basket weaving without the degree plan or pre-requisites..  They generally meet once a week for four or five weeks and they aren’t all that expensive.  If I miss one, no big deal. What I don’t know, having never attended one, is how many people actually do these things?  Will the class size be me and one other person?  I suppose even if that were true, it would still be okay.  I mean, I would take a class in something I was interested in like photography or creative writing but would like it to be with at least a half a dozen people just to get that group vibe going. 

I have this option as a probable candidate because I could do this in addition to another option mainly because it won’t take a lot of time and I could learn something new and have some fun doing it.  I just need to find a decent place to go to.  I’m sure some of these classes are held in the back room of a strip mall in a bad section of town.  I think I’ll look for some provided at a college campus of some sort.
 

·        Charity – With the holidays coming up, this shouldn’t be too hard to get involved with.  It’s free, I get to be around other people sharing a same interest (helping others, duh), and while I am not certain on this, I think it would be flexible enough to work around my potential travel schedule.  There’s also a bit of good karma that comes from this.  In some metaphysical way, I feel like adding another statistic in the divorce (i.e. failed marriage) category has put out negative vibes into the universe. I’d like to “repair” that by doing something good for others.  My big interest is with Habitat for Humanity but so far, my emails to the local ones in the area have gone unanswered.  I will search for other possibilities.  Speaking of unanswered emails…


·        Community – There are plenty of options for volunteer work in the community that isn’t exactly charity related and one in particular I would LOVE to do: community theater.  Not as an actor, though.  I did some drama stuff in high school but I was never the best actor in the world. I did, however, enjoy doing the backstage work:  building sets, doing the lighting and audio, gathering props and helping out with stage direction.  This would be an absolute perfect way for me to do something fulfilling to me and be around other people with similar interests. I have started pursuing this as well, but again, no answer to my emails on it.  You’d think organizations like this would be jumping to get volunteers but so far, very little jumping or hopping or even a slight skip.  I will keep on it, though, and let you know my progress.

I should point out there are other options in the “community” category besides community theater but I am not about to get into anything even remotely political like PTA or being on the board of directors for the community I live in.  One that is more appealing is the Kiwanis which is a name I recognize but knew nothing about.  According to their web site they are a “global organization of volunteers dedicated to changing the world one child, one community at a time.”  That is certainly a possibility; I would just need to see how much time I can devote. 

And this is part of the problem with the last two options as far as volunteering goes.  I don’t think I want to get into a situation where I cannot commit as much time as they may need.  I still have my job, my girls and a house to maintain (actually two right now), so while I will have a moderate amount of free time, I don’t want to overextend myself.  Nor do I want to sign up for something and then have to bail out on them because all of a sudden I have to go to Europe for a few weeks.  I'm sure the schedules are flexible and I just need to get more information.
 

So, there you have it.  A list of options and really, other than higher education, all of them I can look into and participate in.  I’ll chime in on my progress once I get any, but I feel good about just compiling this list.  When it dawned on me that I was destined to be single again, having nothing to do and living like a hermit was (and still is) a big fear.  It’s not like when we were kids and if you saw someone else with the same lunchbox you had, you were instantly best friends (true story...this is how I met my best friend in first grade).  There’s more work to this when you are older but the options are out there.  Now I just need to go out and exercise these options.  Which, by the way, is probably the hardest part: taking that first step. 
 

In part 3:  Some preliminary thoughts on dating…