All moves into houses start with one significant event: the closing (unless you are just renting, then it’s mainly pick up your keys at the office). I have been to four closings in my lifetime and I generally dread them. My first one took three hours because some of the paperwork was wrong and needed to be corrected and while my second and third went relatively okay (especially the third…when you are having a house built, the closing takes almost no time), I was still dreading my fourth. Leading up to the closing, all of the work was done through e-mail. I think I actually spoke to my mortgage company three times on the phone over the 45 day process. Don’t get me wrong, I loved that. Give me an online option over an in person or phone option any day of the week. Still, with something as big as buying a house, I trepidatiously entered the closing expecting the worst.
I shouldn’t have worried though; I was in and out within 40 minutes with only a slight cramping of the right hand from signing the phone book…I mean the pile of papers for the loan. I do wonder when we will get to the day where all of this will be on an iPad-like tablet and all you have to do is sign and initial once and those will automatically populate to the places they need to be. I swear a lot of the forms were introduced to me as “And again, this is just to say that you confirm you are buying the house as-is with no warranties.” Again? Did I already sign something to this effect? I was dizzy from paperwork so I couldn’t remember exactly but if I did, why am I signing it again? I did ask after the 40th signature if anyone ever refused to sign any of the forms. The closing agent and my real estate agent just laughed. “If they didn’t, they wouldn’t be getting the loan!” So, if all of this is required to get the loan and I want the loan, why can’t I just sign in one place and give me the damn keys, already?
I really shouldn’t complain, though. It went by very smoothly and my closing costs actually ended up way cheaper than originally estimated (although by their own admission, they over-estimate the closing costs so the buyer is prepared. Fine with me! I would rather be surprised in not having to pay as much as opposed to having to pay more).
With the closing completed and me armed with a file folder full of mortgage documents as well as a small catalog of the bylaws of the community I was moving into, I took my new set of keys and garage door openers and bolted to my new house. I had a busy day and it already started with having the girls in the morning and then tending to them in the afternoon. Even though technically the girls were supposed to be with their mother this weekend, she had her cousin’s wedding to go to and they did not allow kids at the wedding. I thought that was odd. I always thought weddings were fun for kids…anyway, I guess they thought differently. Not a problem for me, by the way. Even with everything going on, I’ll take the girls when I can. I just needed to juggle the closing with picking up the girls, taking them to gymnastics class and being on a conference call for work. Fun times for what should have been my first moving day.
I already had most of my clothes in the back seat of my truck. I suppose that was opening me up for something bad to happen at closing but I took the chance. Getting a sticker for my truck to allow me to get in and out of the community was first on my list and I got that marked off in no time. When I got the sticker I also received yet another folder full of stuff about the community. The reading requirement for living in this place was like studying for the SATs. I drove over to the house, pulled into the garage after opening the door with my newly signed for garage door openers and discovered my truck doesn’t fit all the way into the garage. The back end sticks out and would definitely prevent me from closing the door. A bit annoying but I needed to trade my truck in for something smaller and with four-wheel drive anyway. Living in Texas without four-wheel drive is okay but it’s been a struggle up in snow country and now that I have a driveway that has an incline as sharp as some New York Cheddars, I really needed something different (plus I no longer had the backup of my Ex with her four-wheel drive Jeep). Add into the fact that the bed of my truck sticks over a foot out from the garage opening and automotive shopping was in my immediate future.
Undaunted by this discovery, however, I pulled out the various pieces of luggage I had my clothes hastily packed in. Remember, I used to travel quite a bit so my luggage collection has grown quite a bit as well. I threw all the suitecases into my master bedroom and then meandered through the house. I had already been there once that morning before the closing to do a walkthrough…just make sure a tree hadn’t fallen into the living room or that the owners hadn’t decided a kitchen sink was no longer necessary…stuff like that. It was a short visit, though, and it was with my real estate agent. This time, it was just me and I walked slowly through each room, thinking about where furniture would go, how I would use a particular room as my office, this other as a guest room and that room would be where the girls would stay when they were over.
I took some time to soak in the beautiful hardwood floors that were stained a deep cherry, the arched openings to the dining room and kitchen, the vaulted ceilings in just about every room and the unique light fixtures that were dotted throughout the house. I sighed thinking this house was perfect for me and then I sighed again with a little bit of regret that I had to find the house in the first place.
As exciting as it was to have a new place to call my own, I would trade it all in to go back to the life my wife and I once shared. Not the life we’ve been living for the past year or so…back to when our second daughter was born and our first just became the “big sister.” When we knew we were in love and we didn’t have to prove it. When it was her and I and our girls against the world, living in a small apartment waiting for our house to be built and exploring the new area we had just moved to. Before work got in the way and before the reality and distractions of everyday life took that love away and we just became two people living together who happened to have children.
Yes, I would gladly give up my new house, the nearby beach and lake, hiking trails, and all the other amenities the community provides to get back a normal, loving family; one that isn’t separated by plots of land and emotional tension. I know it can no longer be that way. We aren’t the same people we were and while I try to not think about why that is, significant events like this seem to bring that out. I have probably written in this blog about a half a dozen sentiments that seem to bring a close to all of the sadness about this divorce but apparently it isn’t fully closed.
It’s kind of like my truck in my new house. I can get most of it in but not enough to shut the door.
Next time: More moving stuff and I’ll try not to be so depressing about it!
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